It’s been just one week since 2018 has started. I think it’s an appropriate time for me to finally publish this post after having reflected upon last year and what I want to do now.
Last year, I made an audio blog talking about the year prior and reflected upon it. I also brought up the topic of New Year’s resolutions and discussed how I felt one should properly approach making a goal for one’s self. When I really thought about it, I actually began to wonder if I held myself to the same standards I preached upon others. So instead of just going back to just last year’s New Year’s post, I went through 2016’s and 2015’s as well. What I had noticed in each of the post was I had almost essentially said the same exact thing each time. Disappointed with how slow time has been, disappointed with no progress with self, and wanting to do something different.
Even though a friend of mine had mentioned this to me before, it was pretty revealing of myself. Curious to see just how much I had changed, I decided to look even further back and skip a few years: my first post in 2012, looking back at 2011. It was only six years ago, but you can tell there has been a lot of changes since then. My writing style, my tone, and my maturity.
However, can I really say there has really been that much that’s changed since then? Perhaps the only real change that’s occurred since then would perhaps be when I stopped attending the Art Institute. When I realized graphic design was far too a volatile of a career to take, I dropped out. Ever since then, I had been floating around in sort of a limbo state unsure of what I wanted to do in the future.
I later went back to look at the goals I had wanted to achieve the last few years. Not only had I noticed the pattern of each New Years post (as mentioned earlier), I also realized I had not even reached the goals I set up for myself. My friend, who is always looking out for me, eventually talked to me regarding this pattern and summarized the issue being with me constantly being on the fence. There’s always something that’s hanging me back.
If there’s one thing that I’ve always appreciate about my friend, that would have to be just how observant and accurate my friend is in regards to me. I’ve always made it a point to myself to know myself well. I’m aware, however, that there are times where one can lose sight of themselves and may require guidance of those around them. While I knew these things about myself, I never really had someone confront me with these issues.
A lot of my issues, as my friend mentioned, can be solved if I just go through with it. Instead of overthinking the situation, just go for it. Having agreed with my friend, I immediately sent in an application to a community college near me. It’s about time that I go back.
So now I know that there needs to be more than just subtle changes in my life. I really need to grab the reins of my life back and take control. This time, I won’t let things sit as they are. Thankfully I’ve already been in the progress of making those changes. Last year, I wanted to do more things. So I went to more events than I ever had in the years prior. Last year, I was tired of my usual morning routine. So I decided to go to the gym three times a week with a friend. Last year, I barely got to know photographers. So I started networking with a few I met and even made a Discord server for some of the toy photographers I know.
As long as I can continue doing the things I’ve been doing, I’m sure I will finally get out of this rut that I’ve found myself in and move forward. Heck, I’ve finally decided to get rid of the old domain name as well. I decided to maintain a theme with my two websites so I kept the “Reprise” as a prefix of sorts. The problem was trying to come up with something that’d work with it. I tried to brainstorm a few ideas, but they weren’t working out. The next idea I tried to work with was thinking of a place I felt most at peace. Out of everything that came to mind, the one that stuck out the most was “with friends”. Of course that doesn’t help at all when finding a name. So where have I felt the most at peace with my friends? Of course, they were all at cafes I went to with my friends. It’s a sort of atmosphere you can’t find anywhere else.
Now the page has turned, and this chapter is coming to a close soon. With that in mind, I’ll continue looking forward and making progress. Hopefully, you all will still be there with me as I make this journey.
Happy New Year, everyone. Let’s make this 2018 another memorable year!